easiest way to get a girl is to ignore her

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they

learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is

for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at

me for giving someone a valentine?" Melissa's father thinks a bit, then

says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a

valentine to?"

"Osama Bin Laden," she says. "Why Osama Bin Laden," her father asks in

shock. "Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl

could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think

that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit.

And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love

everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell

everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."

Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound

pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." "I

know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines

could blow the crap out of him."